Lobby Bar – January 4, 2019: Drunk Butlers, Betty White, and ‘I’ll Take Naked Hotel Guests for $250, Alex!’

By Anna Breuer on 4 January 2019
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Lobby Bar: The Secret to My Success

Naughty, naughty.  The Regent Taipei hotel now offers a photobutler service where trained staff members will take Instagram-worthy photos of guests both within the hotel and nearby.  The hotel had to quickly update its policy as some of the guests were using the service for bedroom shots au naturel.

Do you want to hear the good news first?  Marriott revealed that the number of guests impacted by the data breach it first reported in November 2018 was lower than originally thought, but added that at least five million passport numbers had been compromised as they were not encrypted. To ensure this doesn’t happen again, the hotelier introduced a new team of security experts, Moe, Larry, and Curly, who said they are implementing the highly-secure Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk security protocol.  All seemed well until, at the news conference where they were introduced, they began poking each other’s eyes out.

Same procedure as last year?  On New Year’s Eve, FBT staffers watched “Dinner for One,” the story of how James the butler becomes severely intoxicated while serving Miss Sophie at her 90th birthday celebration.  Keen observers noticed that he escorts her to the boudoir at the very end and winks to the camera, but few notice that she chases him out of the room with an umbrella and the scene ends with James cuddling with the tiger-skin rug in the dining room.

No smoking  signs be damned!  Lobby Bar and the staff of FBT wish to express their sympathy to the Southwest Airlines family on the death of its co-founder, the colorful and fun-loving Herb Kelleher.  We will miss the countless times he light a cigarette in public where such actions were forbidden or went missing after a few too many shots of Wild Turkey, his well-known drink of choice but the truth is that Mr. Kelleher revolutionized the industry with low-cost fares and high standards of customer service.

Paging Allen Ludden. Jonathan Spira visited the trendy SoHo rooftop bar, Jimmy at the James.  To gain entry, you have to type the secret password on a keyboard made of thousands of keys on a wall at the entrance to the establishment.  What’s the password?  Sorry, we can’t tell you that.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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