Lobby Bar – December 1: Editors Learn to Fly, Molecular Broccoli, and Introducing Daddy Starbucks

By Jeremy Del Nero on 1 December 2017
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Lobby Bar – Real News in an Alternate Reality

Save the time! Paul Riegler explains why airlines can’t get the boarding process quite right. It turns out that it’s because the boarding doors are too small to fit the passengers through, so from now on, gate agents will open the aircraft’s roof and passengers will be able to jump directly into their seats from the loading crane.  Plans for spring-loaded ejection seats on airport shuttle buses could not be confirmed at press time.

CarFriends. The Los Angeles Car Show proved that connected cars are the future, with many automakers announcing support for Apple’s CarPlay. In addition to connecting to phones, CarPlay lets the vehicle connect to other enabled cars as well, so don’t be alarmed if your dashboard starts making friends with others on the road and receives emojis from these new friends where the speedometer should be.

First flyer. Anna Breuer takes a ride in American Airlines’ Flagship First from New York to San Francisco. American has launched a new program that lets first time Flagship First flyers, such as our new staffer, ride in the cockpit with the pilot and copilot for a few minutes during the flight with the goal of having someone to take over the controls when both captain and first officer need to use the lavatory at once.

It’s a hard-knock life. Jonathan Spira heads to the Paper Mill Playhouse for everyone’s favorite orphan, “Annie.” The musical is true to its roots with one big exception: this version was short on funding and had to make a few changes while accepting sponsorship from everybody’s favorite coffee chain, so get ready to meet Christopher Sieber, playing the role of Daddy Starbucks, who has traded in his signature cigar for a pumpkin spice latte.

Inspired yet? We had the opportunity to sit down with Max Vernon, the accomplished playwright and performer and creator of ‘The View UpStairs.’ Max has had many inspirations that led him to the completion of his very important play, some of which include David Bowie’s Wikipedia page, anonymous Internet chat rooms, and, obviously, the chemical breakdown of broccoli.

Cap’n Breuer. A computer glitch is leaving thousands of American Airlines flights around the holidays without pilots. Fortunately, Anna is getting the hang of manning the controls right about now, so there’s at least one new trustworthy pilot on the scene.

Draw on me. Marriott unveiled a new “Splash of Brilliance” shower door collaboration that introduces technology to the bathing routine. Guests can now jot down their brilliant shower thoughts on the door, or perhaps leave phallic drawings for their own amusement, before e-mailing them to themselves or important colleagues and clients.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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