Lobby Bar – October 6: Pumpkin Spiced iPhones, Michael Moore Sings Opera, and How to Steal From Google

By Jeremy Del Nero on 6 October 2017
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Lobby Bar – The Fifty-First State of the Union

Pumpkin apple pie. Paul Riegler puts through the paces the new and improved CarPlay included in iOS 11, which adds important features such as lane guidance and speed limit info. Keep in mind, however, that the new version is only compatible with Apple’s fall collection of pumpkin spiced iPhone 8 devices.

More Moore. Take a seat next to Jonathan Spira at the Belasco Theater for “The Terms of My Surrender,” which features Michael Moore’s debut on Broadway. Watch Moore as he warns the audience, while he consumes a bushel‘s worth of hamburgers, that four more years of Trump is less far-fetched than they might think. Go on a Friday or Saturday night to view the performance as a musical, which is comprised of original songs by Moore, who hits some impressive whistle notes reminiscent of Mariah Carey circa 2000.

Help us help you. Puerto Rico is still in need of aid from the rest of the world, and we can all do our part to pitch in.  Do what you can to send batteries, canned goods, clothes, and 75” smart HDTVs with Netflix & Hulu subscriptions to the island nation. In fact, send one or two of those last ones to the FBT offices while you’re at it so that we may road test them.

Techniglass. Join us behind the wheel of a bright yellow 2017 Ford Focus ST. Ford is finally making good on its promise of the Focus brand by utilizing new smart glass technology on their windshields to “focus” vision so drivers can leave their glasses at home.

Our secret. October is here and Jesse Sokolow wants to share some of the greatest moments of travel history to take place in Octobers past. This month, Jesse is running an instructional class on how to build your own time machine. To attend, meet Jesse during the next full moon phase outside of Google’s headquarters. The timing will be just right… to break into Google and steal their time-traveling technology.

Eat this Apple. If you are undecided on whether to get the iPhone 8 or iPhone X, we’re here to help! In the end, we’ll be going with the more expensive model because the minimum for a personal loan at our local bank is $1,000, and the X comes with a free registration into the NSA’s new facial detection program.

Academic gambling. Alaska Airlines announced that it would grant students at the University of Washington elite status in its Mileage Plan frequent flyer program based on the individual student’s grade point average. On the flip side, those with failing grades must pay extra for their ticket and will be seated on the wing or in the cargo hold.

Trusted travelers. Grab a glass of tomato juice and cheers with us as we welcome the newest member of the FBT editorial staff, Anna Breuer. As part of her initiation, Anna had to find the five grammar or spelling mistakes in a sample FBT article. The thing is, there are only four mistakes, and while most applicants go crazy and give up, Anna told us we were wrong. She was hired on the spot and given a key to the time machine. Strangely enough, a listing for the key appeared on eBay soon thereafter.

Trump-Kim Park.  Taking advantage of the real-time translation features of Google Pixel Buds headphones, U.S. President Donald Trump and North Korean President Kim Jong-un began face-to-face negotiations.  Unfortunately, when Trump used the phrase “utter destruction” in reference to his 2016 campaign, Google Assistant took that as a command, initiating the launch sequence.  A peaceful park is planned for the site of the talks.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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