Lobby Bar – December 30: The Future of Airports, Times Unchanged Roman, and How to Return an Airplane

By Jeremy Del Nero on 30 December 2016
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An Exaggerated Example of FBT News and Views

Six of one… Jonathan Spira visits Matsuhisa Munich and Bar31 for a bite. The meal was excellent to the best of Mr. Spira’s memory, but after the mandatory 31 drinks, he couldn’t quite be sure which had better texture: the sashimi or fine cloth napkins.

Tradition transition. It’s that time of year: join Miss Sophie for her annual tradition: “Dinner for One.” It’s become our tradition to write about Dinner for One at the end of each year. We’re beginning a new Lobby Bar tradition this year in which we write about the tradition of the FBT tradition of writing about the tradition of Dinner for One.

Two truths, one lie. With the end of the year fast approaching, let’s take a look at 2016’s biggest and most newsworthy moments that you read about here in FBT. Highlights include electing a Simpson’s character, deeming certain combustion-prone smartphones unsafe for travel, and discovering that the moon is, in fact, made of cheese.

Stolen time. The results are in! Find out how many frequent travelers engage in mileage or mattress runs. We did our first mattress run this year. Sneaking the king size bed out of the Kimpton Eventi in Chelsea was a thrill, and it isn’t surprising that so many travelers enjoy the sacred, yet illegal practice. In the meantime, our own Jesse expressed disappointment after finding out that “mattress run” didn’t mean sleeping until Groundhog’s Day.

Paper upgrade. Brussels Airlines is on schedule to debut new business-class menus. The menus will change to a cream-colored background with gold trim, and most importantly, switch from Times New Roman to Helvetica typeface. Of course, the food items on the menu will remain unchanged.

Extended holiday return policy. Boeing, as part of its holiday takebacksies program, honored Delta’s decision to cancel an order that Northwest Airlines, which was purchased by Delta in 2008, placed over a decade ago. Boeing will offer a full refund, but Delta must ship back by Amazon drone the unwanted planes piece by piece by the end of January 2017.

Still on schedule. The opening of the Berlin Brandenburg Airport, which was original scheduled for 2011, will be delayed once more. Wespew Lyes, the PR company managing the airport’s construction news, issued a statement that said the airport was actually supposed to open in 12011, about ten thousand years from now, but (good news!) it will, in fact, be ready more than 9,990 years ahead of schedule.

From all of us here in the Frequent Business Traveler Lobby Bar, we wish you a Happy New Year and einen guten Rutsch ins Neue Jahr!

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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