Lobby Bar – September 30: Air Hulks, Imprisoned Furniture, How to Steal a Gym

By Jeremy Del Nero on 30 September 2016
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Lobby Bar – A Compelling Compendium of FBT News and Views

The ignominious end. Jonathan Spira checks out “Spamilton,” a parody on the infamously popular hit Broadway show about the first United States Secretary of the Treasury. In this version of the show, the actor playing Hamilton alters the lyrics slightly and sings, “I’m not going to get shot!”, after which Aaron Burr promptly shoots him and the musical abruptly ends.

Red giant. Paul Riegler reports that air rage among flight passengers is increasing. As explained by a professional food scientist at FBT’s research facilities, the increase in short-temperedness in the air is likely caused by flyers consuming more tomato juice than ever, and as everyone knows, too much tomato juice often causes people to lash out.

Level up. Jesse Sokolow checks into the Watergate Hotel in Washington, DC. The hotel jokes about its history, engraving pencils and other trinkets with “I stole this from the Watergate Hotel,” but Jesse did the hotel one better: on the day he departed, he was seen wheeling a treadmill out of the hotel’s fitness center. The neat handwriting along the edge of the treadmill did however say, “I stole this from the Watergate Hotel.”

Friends and friends. National Coffee Day took place in the United States this week – did you get your free cup of joe? You should have just stopped by Jonathan Spira’s place in New York; he was making cups of Austrian-style mélange for anybody who wished for a pick-me-up.

Name change. Christian Stampfer reports from Munich, where the 183rd Oktoberfest is well underway. The organizers of the beer festival have finally agreed that, because most of the event actually takes place in September, henceforth it will be known as Septemberfest.

Drop ‘n swap. New York City is moving ahead with its plans to replace Penn Station. The replacement process should be swift – the city has been building the new Penn Station over in New Jersey and once it’s complete, it will be airlifted over to Madison Square Garden and swapped out in a matter of minutes.

Magical things. Good news: Marriott will be returning desks to their rightful place in hotel guest rooms. The issue arose last fall when desks in Marriott hotel rooms began making their way out of the rooms because they felt claustrophobic. The desks, once reverted to their original spot, will be chained down to prevent this from happening again.

Golden age of flying? Delta Air Lines said it would resurrect the former Pan Am New York-Berlin route come 2017. The route, which the storied airline first operated in 1950, will be offered in Delta’s new Retro Class. Passengers must arrive at the Pan Am Worldport wearing suits and ties for men and pillbox hats and Jacqueline Kennedy-style suits for women. The flights, which will operate on vintage Boeing 707s with open racks instead of overhead bins, will not require passengers to clear security and smoking (finger wag) will be allowed.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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