Lobby Bar – April 8: Set Fire to the Air, Traveling with Collectibles, and How to Buy an Airline

By Jeremy Del Nero on 8 April 2016
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Lobby Bar – An Artful Alliteration of FBT News and Views, Rated Two Thumbs Up

Airborne danger. Paul Riegler stumbles across an American Airlines “Welcome Aboard” pamphlet from 1959. The pamphlet warns against the dangers of operating personal radios onboard the aircraft. Oh, and please feel free to smoke at any point throughout the flight.

My fair warning. Jonathan Spira heads to City Center to catch a rousing performance of “1776.” To keep up with modern times, however, many of the songs have been pulled from the musical and replaced with profanity, insults, and politically incorrect pronouncements. At the end of the show, one lucky audience member got to shoot Alexander Hamilton, even though he wasn’t even at the Continental Congress, or in the musical at all for that matter.

High risk, high reward. Take our quiz and find out if you are smarter than the average five-year-old frequent flyer? Those who score well on the quiz will receive a gold star, one piece of candy of their choice, and a dozen iMacs.

Same procedure as last year? United Airlines turned 90 on Wednesday. To celebrate, the carrier invited her four best friends, Mr. Pomeroy, Mr. Winterbottom, Sir Toby, and Admiral von Schneider – all of whom had predeceased her – to a special anniversary dinner served by her butler, James. Apparently, it was the same procedure as every year.

Drown it out. Join us for a bumpy ride on everybody’s favorite dyslexic airline, Pam Ann, hosted by pilot and comedienne Caroline Reid. Just like you would on any flight, be sure to buckle your seatbelt, bring a pillow, and consume as much vodka as possible.

Priority pricing. Marriott will soon be offering more affordable rates to members of its rewards program. Member Rates will include the option for travelers to barter for their rooms, so make sure to bring an antique (this does not mean your spouse) with you on your next business trip.

High balance alert. Alaska Airlines successfully purchased Virgin America for $2.6 billion. It’s said that the purchase was placed on a JetBlue Black Amex, and the points from the purchase will provide a lifetime supply of free trips for all Alaska employees… to fly free on the very airline that lost out on the bid.

All in one. Delta consolidated its Twitter customer service and updates under one account. Rather than using its @Delta handle, the airline will be taking over Michelle Obama’s account, so be sure to go and follow her for all Delta updates, and let her know about any questions or concerns regarding your upcoming flights.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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