Lobby Bar – June 26: Priority Lavatories, Airport Zits, and Stealing Italy

By Jeremy Del Nero on 26 June 2015
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Lobby Bar – A Poorly Translated Summary of FBT News and Views

Witness history.  Join Jesse Sokolow for a tour of the best parts of Los Angeles: Santa Monica and Venice.  We recommend visiting Venice in 1950, when Roosevelt authorized the air lifting of several canals out of coastal Italy and into Los Angeles.  You can borrow our time machine for $15,000 an hour, plus fuel.

Two-face.  Follow Jonathan Spira to the Brooklyn Academy of Music for a special presentation of Into the Woods, featuring the original cast members from the 1987 production, including our very own Paul Riegler.  What, travel editors can’t have hobbies?

8.3% effective.  Check out our review of the August Smart Lock and August Connect home locking system.  The device is cool, but we wish it would work during other months of the year.

Vehicular independence.  The most dangerous driving season has arrived, so make sure you memorize our six key tips for safe summer driving.  First, donate all of your money to FBT and we’ll install our state of the art autopilot system, perfect for those late night rides when you “just can’t.”

Hairport.  Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport announced plans for a major makeover to its domestic terminals.  The airport allegedly purchased $430 million worth of foundation from Amazon, to be smeared on the walls of the terminals in an effort to cover up blemishes and imperfections.

Quick release.  Oneworld Introduced oneworld Priority for select diamond guests.  Members of oneworld Priority can flash their badge at the aircraft lavatory to go ahead of other passengers and gain immediate access to the toilet.  Hint to passengers lacking such credentials: feigning impending airsickness can usually achieve similar results.

Fire with fire.  Delta Air Lines unveiled new versions of its popular Tumi amenity kits.  Now, in addition to personal care products, the kits will include a kazoo to retaliate against annoying seat mates.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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