Lobby Bar – June 20: Cro, Garbo, Matthew Broderick, and Famous Failures for $100

By Paul Riegler on 20 June 2014
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The Lobby Bar – An Irreverent Weekly Summary of Frequent Business Traveler News and Views

Eats, Shoots and Leaves.  Jonathan Spira returns from Chengdu, China.  He was so captivated by what the locals call “the panda life” that he now spends 14 hours a day eating bamboo and the rest of the time sleeping.

Bowling for Dollars.  Frequent Business Traveler once again is inviting readers to its annual GlobeRunner Awards gala in New York City.  This year we’re partnering with the New York State Lottery, so if your ticket indicates 3 5 8 1 4 8, you may attend.

I vant to be alone.  Jonathan Spira checks into the Vier Jahreszeiten Kempinski but finds a high-strung Russian ballerina named Grusinskaya in his suite.  All turns out well in the end when he stumbles upon a wallet full of money from card game winnings and buys the hotel.

Blowback on the High Seas.  Jesse Sokolow accidentally took his new Dyson AM06 fan back in time to 1492, where he discovered Columbus trying to cross the ocean blue with no wind.  Contemporary reports indicate that the crossing actually took two days instead of the expected two months as a result of an unknown intervention.

How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.  A new airline, La Compagnie, will soon launch business-class-only service on a Boeing 757 with three crew members and angled lie-flat seats.  It promises success and has hired former executives responsible for launching the Edsel, the Microsoft Zune, Windows Vista, and New Coke.  Rumors abound of impending passenger airport limo service using a fleet of classic Trabant automobiles.

Roach Motel.  American Airlines discontinued 80% of its flights to Venezuela because the government there wouldn’t let the airline return $750 million to its accounts in the U.S.  In an unrelated matter, the U.S. Federal Trade Commission announced that an unnamed airline had requested its help under consumer protection statutes in getting a large sum of money back that was being fraudulently held in another country.

This Lobby Bar included attempts at humor from Basilio Alferow, Paul Riegler, and Jonathan Spira.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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