Lobby Bar – April 4: Inventing Fire, You’re a Wizard, If Hobbits Were to Fly, and Sexy Plane Pics

The Lobby Bar – An Irreverent Weekly Summary of Frequent Business Traveler News and Views

Quakes happen. In recalling great travel moments in Aprils past, Jesse Sokolow reports from 1906, when he crashed his time machine into the San Francisco Bay Area, causing a massive earthquake that destroyed much of the recently completed Fairmont Hotel San Francisco.  “Sorry,” says Jesse.

There’s bad… then there’s bad.  Ever stepped in a puddle of some unknown substance when trying to make a connection at Times Square?  That’s nothing compared to slow Internet in hotels.  See what bugs our readers the most in our Hotel Pet Peeves survey results.

She’s an Aluminum house.  Jonathan Spira takes some photos with the Nikon D7100 Digital SLR.  Now he can take photos of the sexiest beasts he knows in the highest quality possible.  I’m speaking of airplanes, of course.

Please excuse the chipmunk cheeks.  How many meals and snack breaks can one fit into one 8.5-hour flight?  We find out on a Delta flight from London to Minneapolis.  Next: How many marshmallows can our intrepid reporter fit in his mouth?

He called dibs.  Amazon introduced a new element on Wednesday called Fire.  Moments after launch, we informed the retail giant that fire was actually invented by Jesse Sokolow about two million years ago.

Reinvent yourself.  Spira attempts to board a First Great Western Train out of London, but having been told that his train was leaving from both Platforms 1 and 2, he found a secret platform: 1¾.  He inadvertently boarded a train to Hogwarts and is now a fairly talented botanist in Hufflepuff.

Hotels R Us. The results of a groundbreaking ASSTIC study were released Tuesday, and it turns out that frequent travelers should be spending more time helping their children with their homework than enduring spas and fine wines in luxury hotel establishments.  April fools: frequent travelers stay at Super 8 motels.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)