Lobby Bar – January 25: Yogi Berra, Serena Williams, and ‘I’ll Take Boy Scout History for $200, Alex!’

By Anna Breuer on 25 January 2019
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Lobby Bar: Do Not Consume Without Food and Drink

Worm hole. Hilton’s new Connected Rooms turned out to be a bit too connected.  A Russian hacker figured out how to connect the different rooms together via their two-way telescreens so don’t be surprised when a guest in a Hilton in Miami waves hi to you while you are in your guest room in midtown Manhattan.

Too much of a good thing.  FBT was going to review the new Apple iPhone XS but the staff got caught up in a heated discussion of exactly how to pronounce “XS.”  “Tennis,” FBT News Editor Paul Riegler was heard asserting with a German accent as he was being dragged out of the room, while Deputy Managing Director Basilio Alferow was shouting “Excess!  Excess! Excess!” to anyone who would listen. A compromise was reached, however, and the parties concurred that “Cancel the S” was a fitting compromise.

Nobody goes there anymore; it’s too crowded.  American Express’ Centurion Lounges are so popular that the charge card company had to enact a new policy to limit entry.  Henceforth, in order to enter a Centurion Lounge, travelers must bear the uniform of a Centurion including the galea, or helmet, with its distinctive transverse crest, typically an ostrich or peacock feather. Those wishing to bring a guest were required to have a breast plate on as well.  Guests must at a minimum be wearing Roman togas.

The key to preparedness. Just when you thought it was warming up, yet another blizzard came out of nowhere.  Fortunately, you read our winter travel survival guide on how to prepare for the worst: stock up on canned goods, HDTVs for each room, and no less than 72 rolls of toilet paper (or approximately 12 rolls per TV).

Smile, then fly. It’s winter: have you ever wondered why trucks sometimes circle aircraft, spraying a strange orange- or green-colored liquid (not to be confused with pre-departure Gatorade-based mimosas) while passengers peer through the plane’s windows? This is because airplanes suffer SAD (seasonal affective disorder), and this little routine cheers them considerably, putting them in a better mood to fly, just as the mimosas do for the passengers.

Jeremy Del Nero contributed to this Lobby Bar.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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