Lobby Bar – January 11, 2019: Lost in Space, Jethro Tull, and ‘I’ll Take Soon-to-Be Defunct Airlines for €1,000, Alex!’

By Jonathan Spira on 11 January 2019
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Lobby Bar: Being All It Can Be

Moved. Left no forwarding address?  Aeroplan tried to reconnect to its former owner Air Canada on Thursday and, upon returning home, found the building empty and the locks changed.  The frequent-flyer program can be found wandering the streets of Montreal, asking passers-by, have you seen my parent

No planes for you. Security staff at several German airports went on strike on Thursday, leaving thousands of travelers stranded and perplexed. “Please check with your airline,” replaced the time-honored “your papers, please” as the airport staff advised, not realizing that a) the second world war hostilities ended some 74 years earlier and that airline staff was already in the airport’s Biergarten doing the Ententanz.

No praise for you.  Millennials across the globe rejoiced after Air France announced that it was shuttering its lower-cost carrier, Joon.  Joon was created by consultants who surveyed three hipsterish-looking people and concluded that they wanted lots of marketing buzz, little comfort, and a meaningful flight experience while not realizing that what they really wanted was constant adulation, authentic experiences, and local craft brews, all uttered in one continuous breath.

Hello, hello… Is there anybody in there? Paul Riegler enjoys the solitude of British Airways’ Galleries First lounge in Terminal 3 at London Heathrow.  He’ll see you on the dark side of the moon.

Paging the Department of Redundancy Department, again.  The 2019 Consumer Electronics Show, which is what the producers of the show do not want you to call it, preferring the far more high-tech term “CES,” was in the City of Sin over the past week.  The only problem comes from curmudgeonly old editors attending the show who recoil when their uninformed writers refer to it as the “CES Show.”

Avalon, my friend. Jonathan Spira reviews the Lexusesque 2019 Toyota Avalon Hybrid, which does such a good job of impersonating Toyota’s more upscale brand that he was able to trade it in for a Bugatti supercar by telling the salesperson it was the top-secret prototype for the 2021 Lexus JT.

Jeremy Del Nero contributed to this Lobby Bar.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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