Lobby Bar – December 15: Treating Aircraft Depression, How to Fly for Free, and Vaccinate Yourself Against Celery

By Jeremy Del Nero on 15 December 2017
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Lobby Bar – Santa’s Coming to Spy on You

Cost of friendship. With ten days to go until Santa comes to town, we present to you our Holiday Gift Guide: Diamond Edition, for those in your life with expensive taste (or taste buds).  We recommend you get your loved ones a few Bitcoin, guaranteed to add immaterial wealth and joy to their lives, at least until the cryptocurrency goes belly-up and disappears forever.

Throwback tech. Pump the brakes of the Lexus RC 350 F Sport with Jonathan Spira. Unfortunately, the car doesn’t play nice with Apple CarPlay or Android Auto, although it supposedly interfaces beautifully with BlackBerry devices, so any businessmen who has time traveled from 2006 should love its infotainment capabilities.

A fun crowd. Take a cue from the FBT staff, who humbly request that you get an annual flu shot this year. Those who refuse will be forcibly teleported to an alternate galaxy for the six-month flu season to hang out with Flat Earthers, climate deniers, and those who genuinely enjoy celery.

Smile, then fly. It’s winter: have you ever wondered why trucks sometimes circle aircraft, spraying a strange orange-colored fluid (not to be confused with pre-departure mimosas) while passengers peer through the plane’s windows? This is because airplanes suffer SAD (seasonal affective disorder), and this little routine cheers them up considerably, putting them in a better mood to fly, just as mimosas do for the passengers.

Presenting: free trips.  Pull up a chair with FBT Editorial Director Jonathan Spira and AmTrav President Craig Fichtelberg to discuss travel tips for the holiday season. Some airlines let gifts fly free, and we recommend taking advantage of this policy by folding yourself up into a cardboard box, having a friend wrap it using some seasonally appropriate wrapping paper, and scoring a free (albeit dark and cold) trip in the baggage hold.

Observational humor. Hilton Hotels and Resorts announced its new Connected Room concept, which allows guests to personalize aspects of their rooms. Lights can be dimmed and the heat can be turned up, all through a series of hand gestures that will be captured by the room’s system of hidden cameras. These cameras are operated and studied by a personalized team of observers in the room next to yours, for hospitality reasons only, of course.

Score a free trip to Down Under.  United Airlines, in order to celebrate the debut of their new Houston-Sydney service, offers free tickets on the inaugural flight.  The fine print, however, specifies that the traveler must bear first or last names of Sydney or Houston to be a winner in this promotion.  It further disqualifies residents of New York or Florida from participating. (Do we hear a class-action discrimination suit in the wind?)

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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