Lobby Bar – September 29: Free Ducks, Text a Flight Attendant, and How to Survive a Hurricane

By Jeremy Del Nero on 29 September 2017
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Lobby Bar – You Can Dance if You Want To 

Cheap labor. Jonathan Spira heads to 59E59 Theaters to catch “Small World: A Fantasia.” While he was a little disappointed in the play, Mr. Spira made the trip worthwhile and did not go home empty handed; he persuaded a trio of dancing brooms to come home and augment his Roomba.

Efficient packing. ’Tis the season and we have five helpful tips so you can survive a hurricane whilst traveling. Just pick up a pair of Jesse’s cast iron boots before hopping on your next flight so you can stay firmly grounded in winds up to 150 miles per hour (241,000,000 mm/h). Just remember that the boots weigh a considerable amount, so you’ll need to leave anything else you were hoping to pack at home.  Be forewarned: most airlines restrict the number of people on a given flight who can wear Jesse’s boots at any given time.

Metalheads. Jeremy Del Nero (who’s that?) plays around with Motorola’s modular Moto Z2 Force smartphone. Thanks to its ability to adhere to compatible magnetic attachments, the Z2 can snap onto pretty much any metal surface, including fridges, cars, and for some unfathomable reason, Jesse’s left ear.

Seatless seats.  American Airlines announced plans to unify the interior appearance of its narrow-body planes including the 737-800 and A321 with fresh interiors.  The new cabin design will maximize revenue for the airline by using stools instead of full seats in coach.  The airline will, however, offer a seatback that can be bolted onto the stool for greater comfort, albeit at an extra fee. Rumors of plans for a Supermodel Light cabin, seating 12 across, could not be confirmed at press time.

Tweet me, delete me. Delta will be launching free Gogo Wi-Fi for in-flight messaging on October 1. The service will let passengers use certain data-related messaging services.  As part of the package, flyers will receive the contact info of each flight attendant, and rather than pressing a button to call for assistance, they can just message their request. Flyers are asked to kindly delete this contact info upon landing.

Allergic to humans. A woman was forcibly removed from a plane at BWI Airport Tuesday morning when she complained that she was allergic to two dogs on board and refused to leave when she failed to provide medical documents to backup her claim. At that point, the captain complained that he was allergic to this female passenger and ordered that she be removed. She was, and the captain didn’t so much as sniffle for the rest of the flight.

Hospitality gifts. Join us for a sit-down with Hyatt’s new head of global loyalty, who is steadfast on providing guests with positive experiences. To achieve this goal, he will personally research your social media accounts prior to arrival and leave a personalized gift on your pillow.  Just ask Jonathan Spira where he got his latest rubber ducky from.

The friendly pillow.  Casper, your in-flight ghost, has transformed himself into a subservient pillow for American Airlines.  In addition to preparing your lie-flat seat for bedtime, Casper will also fetch drinks and snacks upon request, or you can take him home although we have it on good authority that he hates dancing brooms.

The Lobby Bar Espresso.  If this edition of Lobby Bar seems a bit more energized than usual, it’s because today is National Coffee Day. To celebrate, we started the day on Central European Time, drinking cup after cup of Austrian-style mélange as we wrote this.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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