Lobby Bar – May 5: Pasta’s Worst Enemy, a Blast from the Past, Cognitive Toys, and Shrinking Planes

By Jeremy Del Nero on 5 May 2017
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The Lobby Bar – A Finely Blended Mélange of Travel News and Reviews, Now in Pill Form

Bored? Perhaps Just hungry. Join Jonathan Spira for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre, and find out why Mr. Spira was inspired to create his own show, “Jonathan and the Concession Stand.” Hint: it’s because he spent more time there than with the audience.

Stuck in the past. Jesse’s back in his time machine, experiencing travel moments in the lusty month of May throughout history. The thing is, the machine broke down in May of 1965 and Jesse needs a rare Editorial Gear Shaft to make it work again. If you own any, please mail it to poste restante in 1965; Jesse is awaiting your help and because of the low postage rates at the time, you can ship it for 75 cents. In other news, we’re hiring.

Join us or lose us. It’s the first day of May, otherwise known as May Day, otherwise known as Loyalty Day, otherwise known as “It’s time to protest” day. As everyone knows, Loyalty Day is the day when all of our readers unanimously decide to obtain all of their news from FBT. Any break in loyalty will, of course, result in readers being banned from the site, save Lobby Bar articles, which are and forever will be open to everybody.

Worlds collide. John Buckley heads to Carnegie Hall to catch a performance of “Babes in Toyland.” Instead of the classic he expected, however, Mr. Buckley sat through a rare crossover between Babe and Toy Story, in which Babe the pig and Woody are trying to scam Slink (the slinky dog) into purchasing an extended warranty.

A little late. The nominations for the 2017 Tony awards are in, with “Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812” and “Hello, Dolly!” leading the pack. Amazingly, “Jonathan and the Concession Stand” received a nomination for “Best Original Screenplay,” although we think the academy submitted the nomination to the wrong awards show.

Like a pro. Everybody wants to sit in First Class, but only by following our tips can you actually score an upgrade. Step one: watch “Catch Me if You Can.” Step two: borrow somebody else’s identity. Step three: use model airplane logos to decorate a check from Pan Am to buy your ticket. Step four: you are now free to move about the country and also steal company slogans.

Carb attack. Alitalia is filing for bankruptcy once again, this time citing a decreased demand for air travel to Italy. “Everybody is content eating riced cauliflower, carrot spirals, and spaghetti squash… the pasta industry is dying. That’s bad for Italy and ultimately bad for business,” the teary-eyed CEO said to a journalist.

The prize is right. Did you rate your favorite hotel chain in our new poll? The poll will accept a variety of ratings systems, including a photo of your smile or frown, a scanned PDF of your mood board, and the doctor’s office pain rating scale.

Honey, I’ve shrunk the plane. In an effort to reduce the weight of its aircraft, American Airlines is decreasing seat legroom on some of its jets. These jets, called “South Beach planes” will offer smaller versions of everything, including a smaller pillow, a thinner blanket, and, of course, even smaller packets of peanuts.

Bad dog. The U.S. Department of Justice is investigating ride-hailing service Uber. Apparently it wouldn’t share its toys, including a particular grey ball that former President Barack Obama’s Portuguese water dogs had their eye on.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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