Lobby Bar – April 28: In-Flight Yelling, a History Lesson with Samuel L. Jackson, and Interborough Piggybacks

By Jeremy Del Nero on 28 April 2017
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The Lobby Bar – A Weekly Digest of Travel News and Reviews, Best Taken With Lactaid

Pulp progress. Join us in celebrating English Language Day this week. Today we learned that English became the most spoken language on Earth shortly after Pulp Fiction was released in 1994 because non speakers of the language were fearful that Samuel L. Jackson would bust into their homes and demand “English, mother****er, do you speak it?”

Burrito bonus. The 2017 Outer Critics Circle award nominations were announced Tuesday at the famed Oak Room in New York’s Algonquin Hotel. This is all well and good, but we’re a little miffed that the Circle turned a blind eye to Paul Riegler’s off off Broadway one-man show, “A Boy and His Burrito,” which chronicles the first time our news editor ever tried this Mexican delicacy.

Fly alone. Some airlines have had a rough couple of weeks in the press *cough* United *cough* and we want to know if that has affected your choice of airlines. If you’re fed up with all mainstream options, we suggest you try World Global Air, the globe’s premier one-seater airline that gives you access to the entire plane and flight crew for a mere $150,000 per hour of flight time. Delays may occur.

What a wonderful woman. FBT Editorial Director borrows Jesse’s time machine and goes to the Harmonia Gardens restaurant on 14th Street in the late 1890s. The machine misfires and he finds finds himself center stage in a production of “Helly, Dolly!” A charming lunch reveals that there are three things that improve with age: wine, cheese, and Bette Midler.

Whoa there. Delta will now offer Diamond Guests helicopter transfers from Manhattan to JFK International Airport. The service only takes about 5 minutes but is somewhat expensive… for a more cost effective solution, just text Jeremy (that’s me); he lives in Brooklyn and offers piggyback rides to Manhattan for minimum wage plus bridge or tunnel tolls.

Pets A-OK. Paul Riegler checks into the pet-friendly Sheraton LaGuardia East Hotel in Flushing, N.Y. with the office dog, Snickers. To protect itself fully, the hotel asks pets to sign waivers when they check-in. Don’t worry, if your dog can’t quite grasp a pen yet, he will be given an ink pad in which to press his paw and stamp the document, which counts as a legally binding pet signature in the continental United States, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands.

Member exclusive. Big news, everyone: Europe is on sale for the summer! With Brexit now solidly underway, the E.U. can be purchased for a reduced price of only $11 trillion. Word is that the U.K. was the first party interested in purchasing the continent, but the Union rejected the Pound as a valid form of payment, concerned that it was no longer a valuable currency.

Best methods. JetBlue profit has been down significantly during the first quarter of 2017. The explanations cited include too many free snack giveaways and failure to make news by inconveniencing customers by removing them forcibly from aircraft.

Health first. American Airlines announced this week that it would be giving raises to its pilots and flight attendants. “With the increased rate of pay,” said CEO Doug Parker in a memo to employees provided to Frequent Business Traveler, “our crews will be able to purchase uniforms that they are not allergic to.”

Team player. This summer, Delta will be offering noise-canceling headphones to passengers in its business-class cabins. The offer comes at a time when in-flight passenger noise pollution is at an all time high thanks to a new game taken up by fliers in Basic Economy called “Shake ’n Screech.” To play the game, just shout loudly whenever you experience turbulence, no matter how mild. Just remember to work as a team with the other passengers, otherwise you may be kicked off the flight for lack of sportsmanship.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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