Lobby Bar – April 14: Low-Flying Aircraft, the Thrills of an Avocado, and Where’d All the Pilots Go?

By Jeremy Del Nero on 14 April 2017
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The Lobby Bar – A Weekly Attempt to Distract You from Real News.

Full circle. What exactly was behind the massive Delta flight delay and cancellation fiasco this past week? Perhaps it was the airline’s refusal to be part to an interline agreement, although we have inside sources telling us that a number of pilots were busy giving presentations at the April 1 ASSCAM meeting, and haven’t been able to get back to work since. Fortunately, while the organization has yet to figure out how to lift the walls, there are plenty of stale bagels and cold (not iced) coffee to keep the participants alive.

Career Change. Jonathan Spira and Jeremy Del Nero (hay there) catch a performance of The Play That Goes Wrong, on this side of the Atlantic. In the play, both of the lead actresses are knocked out after being slammed in the face by set doors. As luck would have it, Mr. Spira, who happened to have an aisle seat near the front, took out a wig and lipstick and stepped into the role. Because of his improvisational skills, Mr. Spira is joining the cast for the rest of the tour and (just a heads up) there may be a significant drop in the number of FBT articles.

Adjust this, please. It would appear that, after United’s unprofessional removal of a passenger from one of its planes on Sunday, the skies are not quite as friendly as they used to be. Unfortunately for United, slogans are now legally binding statements, and the airline must now adjust its tagline to “Fly the Usually Friendly but at times Unsympathetic Skies.” Meanwhile, several of its competitors adopted the slogan, “We beat the competition. Not the passengers.” Not to be left behind in the slogan department, airport police have been heard chanting “Heave Ho, Heave Ho, it’s off the plane you go.”

Switching sides. You’ve been using Uber for a while now, but what’s with the company’s VIP service? If you take ten or more rides per month or have an American Express Platinum card, you can access the exclusive club with extra perks, which include more talkative drivers, better radio stations, and the option to take the driver’s seat and drive the car for a bit.

Come with me. Let’s go back to Broadway to catch Amélie at the Walter Kerr Theater. Or, join Paul Riegler downtown for a real-life enactment of the play in which you, the audience member, must return a bag of avocados to a wealthy resident on the Upper West Side. Just imagine the adventures you’ll have!

Expensive expanses. Join us at the 2017 New York International Auto Show where bigger is better. It seems that some automakers are taking that to heart: meet Ford’s 2017 Expedition XXXXXXL, which has 9 rows of seats, a mini-bar, a home office, and of course a tennis court for the athletically inclined.

A cut off the top. Hilton Hotels and Resorts announced the completion of a major expansion of the Hilton Munich Airport hotel. The expansion encroaches a little on the runway. Some of the new rooms are outfitted with shock-absorbing floors to keep the runway rumbles subdued, and the new roof deck has numerous signs that read “duck.” Jesse learned that the hard way and lost his best hat to a 737 last week.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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