Lobby Bar – March 24: Planeside Parking, Kissing Fish, and How to Make Money with Good Grammar

By Jeremy Del Nero on 24 March 2017
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Lobby Bar – An Intimate Iteration of Iconic FBT News and Views

Stone’s throw. Join us on a flight from JFK’s Terminal 2 to Phoenix, Arizona, in Delta’s first class cabin. Terminal 2 is the best terminal for getting curbside to airside as quickly as possible, mostly thanks to a secret tunnel that lets passengers drive right onto the tarmac and park next to the aircraft. (Parking meters are located just inside the gate.)

Two step. Summer Time will begin on Sunday, March 26 in the European Union at 1 a.m. GMT. At this time, clocks should be set back 23 hours, but remember to also set your day of the week forward one day to offset the time change.

Happiness is easy. Norway has beaten out Denmark for the world’s happiest country title. This is largely due to the country being powered almost entirely by renewable energy, having very little unemployment, and routinely loading anti-depressants into the drinking water supply.

Grammar saves $$$. We’re the first to admit that we’re fans of the Oxford comma. But it turns out that using the comma can actually save you quite a bit of money. Be sure to use the Oxford comma when listing deductions in your tax returns to gain an extra $37 from the Federal Government. Sorry, non-U.S. residents are exempt from the 2017 Grammar Credit.

Fish slap dance reborn. Jonathan Spira heads to Gerald Schoenfeld Theater to see Come From Away, a play about the planes to Gander, Newfoundland, on September 11. Many of the plane people became temporary Newfoundlanders via an initiation rite that includes kissing a fish, while others chose to obtain permanent residency in Gander, which involves taking the kissed fish and slapping no fewer than twelve locals into the weir, Monty Python style.

Minimum, maximum. The U.S. and the U.K. have both announced bans on electronic devices “larger than a cell phone” in aircraft cabins on flights from multiple Muslim-majority countries. Thankfully, the ban does not apply to the next tier of screen sizes, so travelers from Yemen can rest easy knowing their 55” LED HDTV can go under the seat in front of them for safe-keeping.

Natural light. Delta Air Lines announced that it will begin the first phase of its relocation to Terminals 2 and 3 at Los Angeles International Airport this spring. Passengers were complaining that the terminals Delta currently uses (Terminals 5 and 6) are too dark, and rather than investing in new lighting, the airline opted to move to terminals that face south. “While it’s quite expensive to relocate, the savings on LED lighting will pay off for the company in only 12,000 years,” the Delta intern credited with the idea told our airport roving reporter, Jesse.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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