Lobby Bar – February 17: Earning Your In-flight Meal, Living a Disney Cartoon, and a Lone Hilton Tree

By Jeremy Del Nero on 17 February 2017
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Lobby Bar – A Spartan Serving of FBT News and Views

Ride with Tolstoy. Join Paul Riegler behind the wheel of the 2017 Kia Cadenza Limited, one of Kia’s newest automobiles. A new technologically advanced windshield keeps the car as quiet as a library. Kia recognized this and went the extra mile by adding several leather-bound classics to the front cabin. Due to the size and weight of the books, the car’s fuel economy is reduced slightly, although Kia assures us that it’s worth it to have Conrad at your fingertips as you venture into the heart of darkness.

Disbelief. We recently polled our readers about President Trump’s travel ban and the results are in! We have discovered that most do not support the ban, about half are unaffected by the ban, and 83% still can’t believe it’s not butter.

Still dreaming. Jonathan Spira takes on the world’s longest domestic flight in Delta’s first class cabin. The route connects New York and Honolulu and lasts approximately 12 hours, six of which Mr. Spira spent fast asleep. When he awoke, the plane had already landed and he was tasked by some locals to seek out a magical human-sized fish hook and deliver it to demigod Maui, who must return a precious gem to an active volcano in hopes that once-dead crops would flourish again. It makes sense, just ask the folks at Disney.

Give and receive. Delta will soon offer complimentary meals in its main cabin on some of its transcon routes. The meal served will be based on individual passenger IQ. Those who are capable of solving an airline-provided Sudoku and crossword puzzle in less than ten minutes will be served filet mignon. Those who require more than 20 minutes will be offered a wonder bread PB&J sandwich, and for any who take longer than half an hour, flight attendants are instructed to remove and confiscate any food or snacks found in the passenger’s carry-on baggage.

Hotel Divisible. Hilton opened the doors to a new hotel in Times Square. The property was to be a DoubleTree, but because of limited space in midtown, Hilton announced that this property would be just OneTree. Neighborhood dogs were heard planning a picket line in protest of the reduced facilities.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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