Lobby Bar – January 27: Trump Exports Vegans, Ancient In-Flight Entertainment, and Let Robots do Your Chores

By Jeremy Del Nero on 27 January 2017
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Lobby Bar – An Alternative Reality Summary of FBT News and Views

Meat me at the border. Let’s take a look at the world in terms of hamburger economics. While this system is usually helpful in evaluating the strength of a country’s currency, under Trump’s command, the United States will now begin using actual hamburgers as currency. Vegetarians and vegans are invited to “help build the wall, then stay on the other side.”

Hide your Crocs. Seen PreCheck but don’t know how to get on the ride? Let us walk you through it. Once you enroll in PreCheck, a TSA official will be dispatched to your residence to pre-check your luggage, diet, and fashion sense. After this visit, expect a letter from the administration within two weeks either accepting or rejecting your application.

Oregon Trail. Coast-to-coast calling turned 102 years old recently. Beforehand, if a message needed to be passed between New York and Los Angeles, a messenger would need to be sent on foot with a covered wagon and some mules, but would probably perish by arrows before completing the journey.

Smart Robots. Join us for a ride on our new iRobot Roomba 980 Robot Vacuum. The handy little machine will perform periodic cleanings and, if trained properly, will eventually learn to wash dishes and take the dog for a ride.

Take us back. American Airlines Won’t Be Installing Seat-Back Video Screens on Some New Jets. “It’s costing us too much to run, and people don’t seem to use them,” an internal memo stated. Instead, flight attendants will distribute coloring books and crayons to passengers, which are significantly more popular than in-flight entertainment and don’t carry as much of an overhead.

Getting bigger. Miami International Airport witnessed its seventh consecutive year of passenger growth. This is most likely due to Florida Governor Rick Scott’s mandate that all passengers must consume a protein beverage before passing through airport security.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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