Lobby Bar – January 20: Toilets of the Future, Nudity Aboard the Aircraft, and Cloning Yourself for Extra Hotel Points

By Jeremy Del Nero on 20 January 2017
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Lobby Bar – A Curious Collective of FBT News and Views

Bathroom munchies. The Japanese toilet industry plans to introduce newer, more easily understood controls for high-tech toilets. The industry will also be doing away with one feature: a button that looks as though it should clean the toilet bowl but actually places an order for sushi through a local restaurant, and delivered through the bathroom window.

Quiet please! Remember, in the U.K., silent emergency assistance can come to the rescue in times of need. Keep in mind this option does not exist in all countries; in South Africa, any calls for assistance must be accompanied by a vuvuzela soundtrack.

Man in the machine. Join us behind the wheel of the 2017 Honda Accord Hybrid Touring. The name Accord represents the Japanese automaker’s “desire for accord and harmony between people, society and the automobile,” and this vision has never been more clear: drivers can now plug their index finger into the ignition switch to control the car through brain waves. This, however, presents an insurmountable problem for left-handed drivers.

This one time… Join us in the Delta One Business Class cabin from San Francisco to New York. Passengers in this cabin are allotted exactly one of everything. This is usually fine for things like pillows and blankets, but be sure to time your one trip to the lavatory wisely. The Delta Two, planned for next year, will permit additional trips to the lav and desserts per passenger. In the interest of safety, no thin mints shall be offered.

The new Dolly. Jonathan Spira stays at the Hyatt Regency Los Angeles and the Hyatt Regency San Francisco International Airport, at the same time. Mr. Spira found that if he used Jesse’s time machine after completing a stay at one of the properties, he would be able to go back in time and stay at the other hotel simultaneously. Thankfully, both hotels are clone-friendly. Sheep not included.

A decade away. If you’re still using an original iPhone on the AT&T network, you probably won’t be reading this article because a) AT&T shut down its 2G network this week or b) you figured out how to build your own time machine to take you to 2006 and are probably off trying to warn people about the upcoming collapse of the housing market.

Strip to board. This March, American Airlines will once again be refining its boarding process. To encourage passengers to pack lightly, people with the fewest belongings are invited to board first. However, we’ve already have been witness to a number of incidents involving passengers stripping down, entirely nude, demanding priority access, so time will tell if the new procedure will be effective.

Point it out. Starwood announced a number of changes to how its members will earn points through its partnership with Uber. Members will now earn two Starpoints per dollar while staying at an SPG hotel, half a point per dollar at other times, and three points per dollar if they spend the night in an Uber car while still paying for a room at a hotel.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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