Lobby Bar – November 18: Light my Fire, Airline Dating, and Clinton’s Servers get Rebooted

By Jeremy Del Nero on 18 November 2016
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Lobby Bar – A Divisive Divertissement of FBT News and Views

Shut it down. Hitting “reply all” culminated with an unprecedented e-mail system meltdown that brought health services in the United Kingdom to a full stop. Democrat Americans are planning a similar scheme to bring Trump’s operations to a standstill once he gets in office; Clinton will provide the e-mail servers and an ample supply of wiping cloths will be provided.

Home schooling. We have graded your fall travel quiz and the results aren’t pretty. If you’d like to hire one of the FBT editors to tutor you, please send us your schedule of availability, a $200 deposit for travel news education courses, and a roundtrip first-class ticket to your home airport from New York City.

Constricted wrists. It has been a year since the deadly attacks in Paris, but as Si Hocine, director of Paris’ Grand Hôtel Français, said, “Paris is safe and beautiful.” Except for the guys who make bracelets outside of Sacré-Cœur, of course; if you let them put a bracelet around your wrist, it’s game over.

Heavy metal. Check out our first look and review of the 2017 Ford Fusion Titanium Hybrid. The vehicle can seamlessly switch between a number of metals, including its namesake, which is light and durable, and Mercury, which enables the vehicle to time travel but is also highly toxic and should only be used in the event of an emergency. Contrary to its name and popular belief, the Fusion does not employ a nuclear powerplant.

Be ready. Don’t let the warm weather fool you, a winter storm is sweeping through some parts of the country at this very moment. To prepare for travel, we recommend bringing a pair of USB-powered heated gloves, a vacuum-sealed Sherpa blanket, and a Samsung Note 7 for warmth (no matches required).

Love is in the air. Republic will emerge from bankruptcy in early 2017 as a singles carrier; those in a relationship will need to look elsewhere for their travels. Those flying Republic are encouraged to flirt with each other and join the airline’s new frequent flyer program, the Mile High Club. What’s that you say? A “single carrier?”, never mind…

Stick it to me. American Airlines has updated its iOS app with new fun travel-related stickers.  AA will also include an optional rated-R sticker pack that expresses the more frustrating aspects of travel, such as “I missed my flight and need to spend the night at the airport and hate the world”and the classic “the guy next to me clearly does not use Dial” holding-my-nose face.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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Accura News

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