Lobby Bar – September 9: Cars Feed on Emotions, JK Rowling’s Perfect Storm, and the World’s Largest Mirror

By Jeremy Del Nero on 9 September 2016
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Lobby Bar – A Colossal Collaboration of FBT News and Views, with IKEA Instructions

Sandwich machinery. Paul Riegler pops into Flying Tiger Copenhagen to purchase a hand-cranked paper shredder. While the shredder neatly slices through paper, we’ve found that it also creates perfectly shaped slices of cheese for footlong sandwiches, and it’s rumored that Subway will be ordering a few million units for use in its locations across the globe.

Emotive vehicles. Jonathan Spira takes the wheel of the 2016 Toyota Avalon Hybrid. Unlike most hybrids, this car runs on part gasoline, part emotion. It’s important to get angry, happy, or sad at least once per trip for the Avalon to absorb the energy.

Look back. Jesse Sokolow checks into the Conrad New York, a beautiful glass building next door to One World Trader Center. All rooms offer an excellent vista of Manhattan; guests in rooms with New Jersey views to the west face a series of angled mirrors that redirect their gaze towards the more attractive midtown skyline.

No flat people. Jeremy Del Nero (howdy!) reports on the slew of new features that Apple’s new iPhone will offer. The software will be more reliant on 3D Touch, which unfortunately means that boring two-dimensional people will be unable to navigate the new interface.

Run, Forest! Lufthansa introduces its City Sprinter Shuttle service from Munich to Düsseldorf and Berlin. As the name suggests, a burly (and requisitely attractive) man in lederhosen will arrive at your pick-up location, take your bags in each hand, and give you a piggy-back ride to the airport. In October, complimentary beer will be served in keepsake steins to all passengers.

Wizardly weather. Our FBT meteorologists have been tracking tropical storm Hermine closely. It turns out that the storm’s name is actually a misspelling of Hermione from JK Rowling’s bestselling series. The next hurricane, dubbed Harry Pooper, is expected to be quite the s***tstorm.

Social success. Months after American Airlines and US Airways merged, the pilots are finally getting a combined seniority list. While most airlines determine seniority based on the number of years of experience, American will be giving priority to those with the most Instagram followers.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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