Lobby Bar – February 12: Breaking up on Valentine’s Day, Hulking Through a Plane Crash, and the Ultimate Tech Downgrade

By Jeremy Del Nero on 12 February 2016
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Lobby Bar – A Cult Classic Collection of FBT News and Views

True luxury. It’s time to vote for your biggest award redemption pet peeves in our annual poll. One of the biggest annoyances is having the miles to use, but being unable to redeem them because of inadequate status. For example, Delta announced that redeeming points for travel between March 1 and 31 is only available for those whose households still have two footmen and an under butler.

Words that kill. Paul Riegler visits Versailles in Little Havana, Miami. The yucca, served with citrus, onion, garlic, and spices, is great if you’d like to have your last date at the restaurant. Be sure to conversationally engage with your companion in close quarters and use lots of breathy words like “hammock” or “jalapeño.”

Safety first. Jesse Sokolow presents: 9 tips on surviving your next plane crash. As a precaution, it’s helpful to stuff a fully-inflated airbag into your sweater before takeoff and manually top it off every hour until you’re on the ground again.

Double check. Briggs & Riley announced a new luggage donation program for charity. Just make sure you empty your luggage out before donating. Some lucky gent opened his luggage last week to find a MacBook Pro and a Kindle. “Finders keepers,” he exclaimed gleefully when he was asked to return them.

Not it. Wyndham is launching the first-ever hotel sitcom. The show will star four elite travel journalists – Jonathan, Paul, Jesse, and Jeremy (Yoko declined to join the cast), and the ongoing dispute over who will wake up at 7:00 a.m. to write breaking news stories.

The good kind of brick. The Sheraton in Puerto Rico will soon offer battery butler service. Guests’ smartphones that are nearly depleted of battery power will be whisked away and replaced with a new, fully charged cell phone. It’s a great idea in theory, but many guests are reporting that their iPhone 6S+ smartphones are being replaced with 2000-era Nokia 3310 models, aka America’s beloved and indestructible brick phones.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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