Lobby Bar – August 7: Bearded Aircraft, Voting Scandals, and Apple Entitlement
Lobby Bar – A Gluten Free Summary of FBT News and Views
Do Not Fold, Spindle, or Mutilate. After over 1.6 billion ballots were cast, the GlobeRunner Awards announcement in New York City was temporarily halted when officials from the accounting firm of Dewey Cheetham & Howe discovered that most votes were invalid due to failure to follow instructions on the punchcard ballot, which was originally designed in 1971.
Posh Tomato. Paul Riegler hops on a Delta Air Lines flight from Miami to New York, claiming his signature seat, 1A, in First Class. The flight could have left on time, but another gentleman in First Class smartly requested a glass of tomato juice when asked by a flight attendant “Do you want an on time departure or a pre-departure beverage?” The man calmly sipped his juice for an hour while the captain and other passengers stared at him.
Must stash. Jesse hops into his time machine and visits some important moments in travel history for the month of August. This time, Jesse met up with Mr. William Boeing himself. The two became good friends and, on his deathbed, Boeing insisted on giving Jesse a token of friendship. And that’s why Jesse now sports Boeing’s iconic moustache.
Bragging rights. If you were considering an Apple Watch, we’ve laid out six good reasons for purchasing one. First and foremost, when people ask you “oooh, is that an Apple Watch?” you want to be able to say, “Yes. Why yes it is,” before giving a smirk and quick jerk of the head while you check your wrist for likes on your most recent Instagram post.
Animal house. Delta Air Lines announced that it would no longer allow the shipment of big game animal carcasses on its aircraft. “The only animals allowed on board are the poor souls in Coach,” said a Delta executive who requested to remain anonymous. In another related announcement, the FAA expressed concern regarding the safety of operating aircraft with big game strapped to the plane’s hood.
Light me up. Congratulations to the electric traffic light, which has helped direct traffic for 101 years. While we’re at it, we’d also like to wish a very happy birthday to our Deputy Managing Editor, who turned 105 this week and bore witness to the installment of said traffic light in Cleveland in 1914.
Profit optimization. Hertz announced that it will be discontinuing its 24/7 hourly rental service, citing weak demand. Hertz CEO John P. Tague commented, “Our studies show that most customers pick up their reserved vehicles between 5:00 p.m. and 6:00 p.m., so we have adjusted our hours accordingly; starting September 1, we will be open for that one hour per day.”
(Photo: Accura Media Group)