Lobby Bar – July 31: Lime Disease, Neck Weights, Adopt-a-Guest, and Rewarding Beauticide

By Jeremy Del Nero on 31 July 2015
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Lobby Bar – A Summary of FBT News and Views, Best Served Chilled

Clothe the masses. People have been wandering the streets, naked, unsure of what to wear this summer.  Have no fear: Paul Riegler has picked out a trendy new outfit just for you; you never have to be a confused naturist again (unless you’re into that).

Don’t be sour. American Airlines, now the world’s largest airline, gives us the inside scoop on the final steps in its merger with US Airways.  The company has decided that it will ban limes from the aircraft and resort to serving other types of citrus – “the whole lime thing left a bad taste in my mouth,” said CEO Doug Parker.

Manhattan on Ebay.  Jesse takes his time machine back to 1626 and runs into Peter Minuit, who is negotiating with the Indians for Manhattan Island.  He quickly outbids him and that’s why the financial center of the world is called Jessehattan.  See what’s happening in Jessehattan this fall.

Family ties. Henry Feintuch checks into the Serras Hotel in Barcelona, where the staff treats you as family.  In fact, at checkout, you have the option to be adopted by the front desk agent – the paperwork is already drawn up!

It’s not a goiter. Jeremy Del Nero (sup?) puts on a pair of the Blue Mo-Fi headphones, which weigh in at just over 16 ounces.  As a result, I’ve noticed a higher than usual number of people complimenting me on my neck muscles recently.  Oh, and the music sounds great too.

Judgment day. British Airways announced changes to the way it will board passengers. Now, the airline will board people in order of attractiveness, with the least beautiful people boarding first, in an effort to show them that homeliness has its benefits.

Remember me? Walmart introduced a new high-tech car seat to prevent unattended infant deaths.  The seat helps remind the driver of a child in the backseat – you know, in case you forgot about the earsplitting screaming a few moments beforehand.

Cuddle buddy.  The W Montreal has partnered with Lift Digital to bring live personal fitness sessions to hotel guests.  A workout instructor will receive a copy of your room key and will wake you up each morning.  They also offer ten-minute head-scratching sessions to coax sleepy guests out of bed.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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