Lobby Bar – June 5: People Power, Desserts For Days, Vegetarian Beefeaters, and Anti-Oxygen Airlines

By Jeremy Del Nero on 5 June 2015
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Lobby Bar – A (dis)Honest Summary of FBT News and Views 

Volatile editor. It’s that time of the month when Jesse hops in his time machine and visits June travel events throughout history. Jesse was last seen hanging out with Taft and Coolidge in the LaSalle Hotel (before the big fire), convincing them that he is a president from the future. Jesse now has the nuclear launch codes, so be careful of what you say to him.

Tiramisoup. Paul Riegler goes behind the scenes of Transaero’s Imperial Class kitchens, previewing the airline’s summer menu. If you’re a vegetarian, you’ll be out of luck when it comes to entrées. But that just means you’ll be served a four-course dessert menu, so we suggest telling your flight attendant that you don’t eat meat.

Hallelujah ham. Find out what to do and see in Russia’s coolest city, Saint Petersburg. Make sure you see the Stroganov Palace, a beefy institution designed by Paula Deen in 1753. She borrows Jesse’s time machine when he’s at work.

Chill out. Jonathan Spira checks into the Hyatt Regency McCormick Place in Chicago. His room, located in the hotel’s new guest tower, comes with a lovely view of the parking lot, where one can watch incoming guests turn to icicles before being defrosted by hotel staff.

Work before play. American Express and SPG are teaming up to bring guests free Wi-Fi, so long as the user reads three Lobby Bar articles before accessing any social media. (This one counts.)

Bring food. Trendy hipsterdome Bushwick, Brooklyn, is about to give birth to three new hotels. Alternatively, you can stay on my futon for twenty bucks. I have Wi-Fi, dozens of pairs of skinny jeans, and need friends. Please?

Soylent Pink. Alaska Airlines is partnering with NARA for environmental alternatives to jet fuel. In their joint research, the companies discovered a way to end the energy crisis as well as the global issue of overpopulation. Coming soon: a new jet fuel by the people, of the people, for the people™.

Unkindest Cut. Malaysia Airlines announced it is ‘Technically Bankrupt,’ and will begin cutting costs to stay in operation. First step is to sell all aircraft. With a fleet size of zero, maximum operating costs savings will be achieved.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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