Lobby Bar – January 30: Trans-Spatial Phone Calls, Talking with Strangers, and the Secret of Time Travel

By Jeremy Del Nero on 30 January 2015
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Lobby Bar – An Endearingly Falsified Summary of FBT News and Views

Calming cacophony. Jesse Sokolow spends some relaxing nights at the Whiteface Lodge in Lake Placid, New York. There’s nothing quite like immersing yourself in a lodge in the woods, swimming in the serene outdoor pool, getting sensational 90-minute massages, and listening to the soothing sounds of the in-hotel bowling alley just below your room as you nod off to sleep.

Shady Business. Jonathan Spira borrows Jesse’s time machine to visit Shanghai in 1947. It’s “Film Chinois” and Spira decides that instead of Femme Fatale, he will create the Homme Fatal character, lingering in the shadows with a dimly lit cigarette. A little known fact: the father of the current president of AMC saw the performance and was inspired to create the character of Don Draper.

Layman’s terms. It’s been a century since Alexander Graham Bell used magical science to chat up the president on the first transcontinental phone call. What’s a phone call, you ask? It’s like Snapchat but with speech. Weird, right?

In with the old. SkyMall is going the way of the Dodo and affordable New York City housing. Whatever will you do when you have the urge to buy novelty household items at 33,500 feet? Oh wait, it’s called the Internet.

Old friends. Jonathan Spira joined Mrs. Mayfield’s Fifth-Grade Class of ’93 for an interactive 20-Year reunion performance. He got so involved with his character as a former classmate, however, that when he left the venue, Spira began reminiscing about school with every New Yorker he ran into. Curiously, one homeless man seemed to recall the time he and Spira ran away from school together during 5th grade recess.

Feats of pumpkin. Defying the crowded holiday travel season, Spira goes from landside to airside in less than 30 seconds, managing to purchase and consume a Pumpkin Spice Latte on the way to his US Airways flight from New York to Charlotte. He later learned that the latte was actually laced with a powerful narcotic that warped his perception of time and space, and for a brief moment, Spira was convinced he was on the receiving end of a phone call from none other than Alexander Graham Bell, while he lurked in the post-WWII Vienna shadows with a dimly lit cigarette.

Exception to the rule. Get behind the wheel of the 2015 Audi A3 TDI and you’ll find out that good things do indeed come in small packages. Except for HDTVs. Always go big with HDTVs.

Can’t touch this. The FCC is coming to the defense of portable-hotspot-toting travelers, warning hotels that blocking personal Wi-Fi hotspots is prohibited. Hotels are encouraged to “not be jerks” and give free high-speed Internet to their guests, please and thank you – Sincerely, the FCC.

Choose your poison. The FAA is banning E-cigarettes from checked luggage due to the risk of fire. Cigarettes are killing fewer and fewer people since smoking has lost some of its momentum, so E-cigs are finding new ways to attack humans in the 21st century.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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