Lobby Bar – December 5: Doggy-Paddling the Pacific, Economic Nursery Rhymes and In-Flight Futbol

By Jeremy Del Nero on 5 December 2014
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The Lobby Bar – A Silly Little Summary of FBT News and Views 

History 101.  Jesse Sokolow recounts great moments in travel history for the month of December.  December has seen some of the most devastating hotel fires in history, many of which occurred on December 31.  Apparently guests really want to set off New Year’s Eve fireworks out of their windows, only to face the consequences of their actions – and this, children, is why hotel windows no longer open.

Imagine this.  Jonathan Spira spends a night at the Fairmont Pacific Rim in Vancouver, Canada.  Despite what comes to mind, the Pacific Rim is not about monstrous robots defending Earth Hollywood style, but rather a peaceful place to enjoy a restful night.  Any similarity to the blockbuster is entirely coincidental and should be blamed on Warner Bros., not us.

May the best man be upgraded?  Join Mr. Spira on a flight to Moscow in Delta’s BusinessElite cabin, where the vodka flows like water.  The aircraft was less than half full, which everybody knows means that passengers are required to take part in a brief in-flight futbol match.  The losing team must buy an upgraded seat for each member of the winning team, per IIFFL (International In-Flight Futbol League) rules.

This is a secure line.  Tell us what travel plans you have for 2015 and we’ll sponsor one of your trips.  Just send us your social security number and one of our friends, a former Nigerian prince, will happily foot the bill.

Fairy heads or tails.  The euro and the dollar went up the hill to fetch a good exchange rate.  The euro fell down and lost its crown and Jill went shopping in Europe after!

The red pill.  Azul Brazilian Airlines placed an order for 35 A320neo aircraft from Airbus. Since Neo is “the one,” am I alone in wondering how there can be 35 of them?

Editors need not apply.  BMW and Art Basel are teaming up to offer two fully sponsored “journeys of creative discovery” per year.  I’m still waiting to see if my project, entitled “Observe How the 1% Live in Dubai” will be chosen.  Hopes are high.

Old bag, no more.  Oneworld announced new benefits for Emerald and Sapphire status flyers, which include priority baggage treatment.  In oneworld’s custody, baggage will receive a free makeover and will be served cookies and wine.

Taxman.  Rynanair spent $11 billion on 100 Boeing 737 Max aircraft.  The question is, how does an airline that charges €12 a flight have that kind of money?  Oh wait, baggage fees, taxes, breathing fees, and other hidden surcharges.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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