Lobby Bar – November 7: Electronically Transmitted Diseases, Tree Frenemies, Kafka, and Cars with Low Self Esteem

The Lobby Bar – An Unapologetically Crass Summary of FBT News and Views

Deep Web. With Ebola dominating nervous systems and headlines worldwide, are you less willing to hop on a plane? Let us know in our most recent poll – don’t worry, taking part in the survey in no way puts you at risk of contracting the disease as Ebola is not transmitted through the Internet. Yet.

Sleeping with the doggies. Join Jesse Sokolow for a trip to 1783, when flights were free. Flights are actually still free today, but scoring a free ticket involves locating and bribing a passenger with an oversized and mostly empty suitcase. Do steamer trunks fit in the overhead bin?

Stickshift Envy. Jonathan Spira travels to Hilton Head Island and snaps some really sexy photos at the 13th annual Motoring Festival and Concours d’Elegance. Indulge yourself in some great car porn – just don’t let your own auto watch or it may refuse to start.

Ciao, Pasta. Who wants to go to Italy? Great! Head to the Parkhotel Laurin in Bolzano, where birthdays are met with champagne. While you’re in the area, be sure to do as Romans do and switch to a gluten-full diet – gluten for every meal and during snack times. WARNING: Diet may cause weight gain.

._. ___ .._. ._.. The new iPhone 6 can use Wi-Fi to place and receive mobile calls. Find out if it’s the best way to communicate or if society will revert to telegrams and carrier pigeons.

Sulking Silkworms. The Four Seasons Hotel Moscow had the great pleasure of welcoming its first guest ever, Jonathan Spira, the day before its formal opening. The hotel is so new that its lobby bar, the Silk Lounge, is still being built by an army of silkworms.

Hold onto your hats. JetBlue wants to open a park on top of its new and improved JFK terminal. Next up, the airline wants to put a miniature park atop each of its aircraft, allowing passengers to get some fresh air during longer flights.

You may kiss the nose. South African Airways and JetBlue are getting hitched, and their first order of business is to share possessions, specifically the latter’s TrueBlue loyalty program. The honeymoon will be held in Honolulu, although as neither airline offers service there, it’s unclear how they plan on getting to the city. It’s a same gender wedding, by the way; we’re progressive here at FBT.

I must not tell lies. Hey Kia and Hyundai – the EPA called and it’s annoyed that you guys fudged your mpg stats. Give them a call back at their non-toll-free number 1-$$$-PLZ-CARE – Sincerely, the U.S. Government.

Smart buying. Monarch Airlines placed an order for 30 Boeing 737 Max 8 Butterflies. Fools – they should have known that they could purchase Boeing Caterpillars, which would soon undergo metamorphosis, for half the cost.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)