Lobby Bar – October 17: Fish Bones, Poetry Trees, Eaten Alive, and the Brand New Apricot aPad

By Jeremy Del Nero on 17 October 2014
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The Lobby Bar – A Smile-Inducing Weekly Summary of FBT News and Views 

Forecast for Hell? It turns out that 86% percent of frequent flyers aren’t too fond of the TSA. When will things begin to improve? That’s still up for debate, but we’ve seen pigs getting fitted for wings, so there may still be hope yet.

Stop. In the name of Security. Apparently nobody is safe from the TSA’s intrusive probing – Nobel Prize laureate Brian Schmidt was stopped and questioned at Hector International Airport in Fargo, North Dakota. We hear that last week, president Obama’s toe-nail clippers were confiscated before he was allowed to board Air Force One.

Peas and quiet. Join Karin Sun for a trip to the Wachau Valley in lower Austria. The region is known primarily for three things: the birthplace of Dionysus, being home of tech giant Apricot, and for having several trees under which one can enjoy a book of poems by Wendell Berry.

Creepy Hit Man. Jonathan Spira parties on the roof of the Raffaello Chicago. He highly recommends the communal bath on the second floor and the spacious room closets, large enough to store bodies, ahem, luggage.

Circle up, everyone. Join us in Business Class on Air Canada’s service from Montreal to London. The plane was prepped by a confused flight attendant, who arranged the seats in fruit salad formation and served all of the flyers herring bones for dinner.

Breezy Point. Hilton is launching their Canopy brand of hotels, which will be equipped with rooms that, rather than having ceilings, will simply have an awning overhead. Hilton will only be building the new hotels in windless parts of the country. Sorry Chicago.

Excuse Encyclopedia. My favorite excuse for ending a phone call – “Sorry, I’m heading underground!” – is about to become invalid. Mobile networks and Wi-Fi zones are arriving in more of New York’s subway stations. Thankfully, “Sorry, I’m going to have to call you back – a homeless person is gnawing on my shoulder,” will still do the trick.

He who Giveth, taketh away. Sure, you may be able to Facetime with your brother-in-law on an express Q train out of Times Square, but flight attendants want to once again prohibit these shenanigans from occurring during takeoff and landing. Apparently, too many Instagram photos of wheels-up are flooding the Interwebs.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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