Lobby Bar – September 5: Inclined to Recline, Admiral Ackbar Visits France, A Six Ton Boxing Match, and What Would Hamlet Do?

By Jeremy Del Nero on 5 September 2014
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The Lobby Bar – A Deceptively Devious Weekly Summary of FBT News and Views

Can you top this?  The world’s oldest flight attendant, Robert Reardon, officially retired last week.  While it’s widely assumed that the man was using his job as an excuse for free trips, it’s more likely that Reardon was simply trying to obtain a new world record, which he did by a few months.  Months.  That’s like bidding a dollar over the other guy on the Price is Right.

History repeats itself.  To recline, or not to recline, that is the question.  Historians worldwide assembled at a summit in Newfoundland and came to the conclusion that, if Hamlet were alive today, he would recline without even a morsel of human regard, similar to today’s forty-year-old virgins.  One upside: nobody’s discussing the proper way to slice limes any more.

Dice game.  We asked and you answered.  The top air travel pet peeves in this year’s poll all pertain to lack of personal space in the air.  At least you can still jam your seat into the person behind you and, according to research firm Takë Shortcutti, retain a 13% likelihood of not getting into a fight.

Made in his own image.  Who would win in a fight: an Audi A6 TDI, a BMW 535d, or a Mercedes-Benz E250 BlueTec?  We’ll give you a hint: the victor is German-made.

Spooky business.  Next time you feel as though luck is against you, just remember that the Palmer House Hotel opened its doors just 13 days before the Great Chicago Fire completely obliterated it.  Find out what other wacky things took place in Septembers past, including 007’s tragic demise.

Guilty pleasures.  Jonathan Spira answers the question on everybody’s mind: does size matter?  Of course, he’s discussing the height of the enormously tall Jumeirah Carlton Tower in London, and not anything personal, such as the size of one’s ‘N Sync collection.

It’s a trap!  Tours of Versailles will be leaving from the front desk in ten minutes, led by the lady with the black umbrella held high above her head, Karin Sun.  Just don’t get enter the hall of mirrors; rumor has it Jesse got lost there in 1993 and is still trying to find his way out.

Aviation mystic.  Boeing predicts that China will dominate the airplane market by 2033.  While you’re looking into your crystal ball, Mr. Boeing, would you mind telling me tomorrow’s winning lottery numbers?  Never mind, I’ll just ask Jesse.

Gimme Shelter.  Norwegian Air wants to join the party in the United States for cheap, but the DOT thinks otherwise.  “A country that derives 95% of its energy sustainably doesn’t need access to hamburgers,” said a DOT spokesperson.  “I’m trying to do you all a favor, really.”

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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