Lobby Bar – May 9: Buster Keaton, Putting on the Ritz, Monty Python, and Crackpot Inventors
The Lobby Bar – An Irreverent Weekly Summary of Frequent Business Traveler News and Views
Nap time. Airlines have equipped their long-haul aircraft with lie-flat beds, writes Jonathan Spira. The next frontier will be a bit trickier, however, as some airlines are moving to offer in-plane parking and at-home drop-off as new features, the latter accomplished with several large parachutes.
The suite life. As lie-flat beds on planes became common, two Gulf airlines, Emirates and Etihad, announced plans for true in-aircraft suites. A spokesman for one of the airlines said it would not, however, offer at-home drop-offs, citing the difficulty of doing so from its new Airbus A380V model, which has a nine-room villa and six-car garage built into the plane.
The Lounge Lizard’s Lost Love. Jesse uses his time machine to travel back to 1917 to seek help from a star of the silent film era and finds that the first airline lounge has yet to open. Using the LoungeBuddy smartphone app, he finds the first-ever airline lounge and holds the meeting at the American Airlines Admirals Club at LaGuardia Airport of the 1930s on its opening day.
Take the train to the plane. Using Jesse’s time machine, Jonathan Spira runs into a frustrated Leonardo da Vinci on the non-stop train from Fiumicino to central Rome. “It wasn’t the Wright brothers but I who invented the flying machine,” he was reported to have said repeatedly to anyone who would listen, but he seemed to calm down when told that Rome’s airport had been named after him in recognition of this accomplishment.
Regarding Henry. After an evening with Harrison Ford, Ritz-Carlton’s CEO confused his company with Ritz Crackers, and is now opening circular, slightly salty hotels across the globe. Meanwhile, Nabisco announced plans to open a series of luxury hotels and resorts in Egypt, Tunisia, Morocco, Indonesia, China, and Panama.
Food science. Reporting on behalf of FBT’s newly launched Department of Research Department, Daniel Berg investigates the link between noise on a plane and people’s mad desires to consume large quantities of tomato juice. The study was halted by the FBT Department of Redundancy Department after a complaint by the Ministry of Silly Walks was lodged.
Battle of Bladensburg. After lending his time machine to Jonathan for the week, Jesse Sokolow was looking forward to an uneventful stay at a hotel in Washington, DC. He can’t remember what exactly happened, but a contemporary newspaper report from 1814 credits a J. Soklow with stopping the British from burning down the Donovan House hotel.
This Lobby Bar included attempts at humor from Paul Riegler, Jonathan Spira, and Karin Sun.
(Photo: Accura Media Group)