Lobby Bar – May 30: Sprockets, 76 Trombones, Girl with A Pearl Earring, and Wes Anderson

By Daniel Berg on 30 May 2014
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The Lobby Bar – An Irreverent Weekly Summary of Frequent Business Traveler News and Views

Flying Dutchman.  Paul Riegler flies KLM from Amsterdam to New York and attempts to discover the hidden secret of the Delft Blue miniature Dutch houses.  Convinced there is a secret code inside, he ends up having an Amsterdam good time after emptying all of them of jenever and leaves the plane humming the theme song from Van der Valk, accompanied by all of the flight crew.

The Grand St. Moritz Hotel. Jonathan Spira takes in the Alpine air at the Kempinski Grand Hotel des Bains, but is embroiled in an international art theft scandal involving a stolen Picasso when his friend, Monsieur Gustave H, arrives asking for succor. Jonathan arranges for passage to Switzerland with the aid of the Society of the Crossed Keys, and by the time the police arrive he is calmly sipping Napoleon Brandy in the lobby bar, all without getting his lips wet.

Shipoopi. Singapore Airlines and Jetblue have partnered to start a new codeshare program, affectionately called “SingJet”. All flights will feature live big band music, singing stewardesses, and an option to upgrade to Karaoke Class, said the airline’s artistic director Professor Harold Hill.

Lost Horizon. Shangri-La said it will open a new hotel in Tianjin, built on the ruins of the fabled lost city. In an interview in a local newspaper, the hotel’s spa manager, Juan Ponce de Léon, said they will soon have a number of unique treatments available, adding that he will be installing a special fountain that promises rejuvenation just as soon as he finds the missing parts.

Spirited Away. Google debuted its driverless car, designed by renowned Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki. The company is also working on a driverless public transport option, a bus resembling a large, grinning cat.

Germany’s Most Disturbing Home Videos. Daniel Berg visits Berlin, but while in line for a currywurst is abducted by nihilists. In other news, FBT announced the hiring of a chain-smoking, turtleneck-wearing, Heidegger-spouting correspondent to replace Berg while he is reeducated through techno (any resemblance of techno to waterboarding is purely coincidental).

This Lobby Bar included attempts at humor from Paul Riegler and Jonathan Spira.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

Accura News

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