Lobby Bar – April 24: Madame Pompadour, Good Vibrations, and We No Speak Americano

By Daniel Berg on 25 April 2014
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The Lobby Bar – An Irreverent Weekly Summary of Frequent Business Traveler News and Views

We are sinking! We are sinking!  Jonathan Spira flies Alitalia’s Magnifica Class to Rome but finds himself in the middle of a Fellini-esque Volkswagen commercial.  He was last seen disembarking from the Airbus A330 muttering “13 ore in auto e senza musica.”

A guilder for your thoughts. Paul Riegler flies KLM Europe Business class for the first time. While he is disappointed not to receive a welcome drink, he does appreciate the Waldorf salad in the shape of a windmill, complimentary wooden clogs for in-flight comfort, and seat covers woven from tulips.

Let them eat cake. Four Seasons Hotels introduces its new Boeing 757. Footmen in full livery greet the weary road warrior with a full iPad salute, followed by a champagne bath and sarabande around the Grand Ballroom, located just behind the cockpit and the Mirror Hall.

London Below. Jonathan Spira takes a ride on the Heathrow Express. After making the acquaintance of a strange conductor calling himself the Marquis de Carabas, Jonathan is whisked away to an otherworldly bazaar under the hallowed halls of Harrod’s.

Hogwarts Express. After London Underground workers said they would go on strike, train car after train car mysteriously began to disappear. The mystery was solved after a boarding announcement telling passengers to board from Track 9 ¾ was heard.

Californication. Jonathan Spira cruises Los Angeles topless in a Porsche Boxster. The car catches the eye of local literary figure and Porsche afficionado Hank Moody, who hitches a ride. Spira has not been heard from since; his last known location was a Beach Boys themed strip joint off Sunset.

(Photo: Accura Media Group)

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